Adjusting to Non-Missionary Life

One of the frequent questions I get asked is "How are you adjusting?" It is really weird to think that I have been home for more than 3 months. The first month and a half was difficult; School hadn't started and I felt like I had no purpose in life. Now, I feel like I have WAY too much to do and not nearly enough time to do it. The half-way mark of the semester hit last week, and to be honest, I am so grateful. School is HARD. I love school, and I thought I would have an "easy" semester, I would have a lot of spare time and it isn't that way. I still love school, and I don't think I would enjoy this semester as much as I have, if it had been the easy. Same with my mission, I don't know if I would love it or appreciate as much as I do if it were easy.

There are many things that have helped me adjust. The biggest is the temple. I love the temple. Today marks my 2 years of going to the temple. All the changes, experiences, spiritual promptings that have happened these last 2 years - I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for everything that has happened in the last two years. Before the mission I tried to go to the temple often. On the mission, temple trips were limited, but I was so blessed to be able to go. After the mission, the temple is my sanctuary and my foundation of life. I try to go at least once a week. The song that says, "Sweet is the peace the gospel brings," It is SO true.

(Photo cred: Jon Adams)

Another thing that has helped me adjust to non-missionary life is service. Service of others and service for others.

I feel when I serve people, my life might get busier and crazier, but God also helps me organize it and He helps me get so much more done. I feel that has really been these past two weeks. Everything has been go-go-go, there hasn't barely been anytime to breathe, or sleep. My life feels full, I feel happy. I may be tired, but I feel joy. It isn't always the big gestures that make me feel the best either, sometimes the small ones have the biggest impact on me.  One experience from this week is while commuting to Salt Lake daily after school, I usually take some snacks, and one day I had to stop by my house on my way from campus to Salt Lake and I had the thought, "grab some extra food." So I did and I took a different route to Salt Lake then I normally do (due to construction and rush-hour traffic),  and as I got off the freeway there was a man holding a sign that said "Homeless and grateful" and I felt like he was starring straight at me. Then he started to walk toward my car, and I hadn't done anything at this point to signal him to come over. As he was walking I had another thought, "give him some food." It wasn't a gourmet meal, it was some snacks. It was what I had, and I thought about a segment of film from "Two Brothers," a documentary series, in one of the episodes, one of the brothers Luke is on a mission in Cambodia and he talks about how excited he was to eat this rice and he looks down after he gets his bowl of rice and sees a little boy who he didn't know when the last time he ate was, and the fact that Luke was able to know he would have a meal everyday, the boy didn't have that. I think anything helps. Sometimes I get stuck in the mindset, "I am already giving to help the poor and the needy," but then I usually get the thought following, "What more can you give?" Not all situations to help others are ones we see coming. But serving others brings joy to my life.

On the same subject, I am extremely grateful for the people in my life. I am grateful for the people I work with, whom help me finish my job so I can get to class just in time for it to start. I am grateful for my friends who reach out and help, who help last minute with a homework assignment, help me fix my computer from a distance, who see a need and reach out to help. I am grateful for family who brings me stuff at school when I forget it when I leave things at home, let me borrow their cars when mine isn't working properly, and so many other things. I am grateful for my brother who helps me with my homework this semester; He doesn't run away or tell me to leave when I go to his house late at night to finish assignments that are due very soon, He doesn't laugh at me when I am so stressed, tired and sleep deprived that I start to cry on his couch, Who has the patience to explain the same thing over and over until I remember that it is the next step and the happiness, relief, comedic timing of him saying something like, "It only took about 20 times" and knowing full well he would have explained it 20 more times and still had the same reaction.

I am so thankful for experiences that I have had to be where I am today. Not just physically, but emotionally, and spiritually. If any one would have tried to tell me 2 years ago, what I  have been thinking about and experiencing this last month, I probably would have laughed, been super stubborn, and thought you were joking. I know, God knows what is going to make me the happiest, and when I trust Him and ask Him, and follow through on that advice is when am the happiest. Sometimes, He will be saying the same thing again and again and the experiences I have cause me to stop, listen, and realize, "Wait, that is actually what I want." It is humbling, but it also bring me happiness and joy, relieves stress and pressure. It helps me remember God is the biggest supporter for my personal happiness.

Romans 8:31 says, "What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

Another sweet experience from this week was while I was running from work to school. One of the other things am grateful for is covenants and being able to keep covenants. This semester there is this one time - between work and when my class starts where I could potentially choose to not keep covenants because of convenience and time efficiency. Keeping covenants brings blessings, so I rely on this. This week this prayer was answered to not have my ballet class start on time, but  a few minutes late, (when I show up for this class highly effects my grade, so I need to be there before the first combination actually starts)... It was also Heavenly Father dotting some i's and crossing some t's. So when I arrive a girl in my class is telling her engagement story from the night before. I didn't expect that, but I was super grateful. Heavenly Father has a sense of Humor.

The Best Two Years

Two years ago I opened my mission call. 

At that time, I didn't know how much my life would be changed in the next two years. 

I wouldn't be able to write all the things that have happened in the last two years. 

Some of the highlights would be:

Mission - EVERYTHING about it. My Mission President and His wife, my companions, the members I was able to serve with, the people I met, SOO many small situations that made a BIG impact in my life and helped me know that God loves me. 

The small things that happen every day to let me know God is aware of me. They would probably seem silly if I mentioned them, but God knows me and knows what they mean to me.

I am so happy I get to go to the Temple often. It has been a refuge for me before, during and after my mission. 

Bell of the Ball

I love this woman.

Her name is Maudie Bell (Cammerer Roan). She is my grandma. 

She is a spunky lady. If you have a conversation with her you would not think she is 89.

I am named after my grandma Maudie.

My Grandma was born in 1926 in Woodward Oklahoma. A small town in the pan handle of the state. 

She was born on a farm with lots of property and a river that runs through it. 

She had 2 sisters and 2 brothers and they all grew up in this house. 

Her mom and dad are on the bottom (Ruby and Albert).

She and my grandpa met there. He was in the Air Force. 

First comes love, then comes Marriage. 

Together they began to travel the world with his different assignments. 

They had 3 rambunctious boys. 

My dad is the one on the left.

She always had MANY stories to tell. Sometimes there were pictures.

She was an adventurous woman. In this instance they were India, and she saw elephants and wanted to ride one. She was the first one out of the car. 

She LOVED to shop. Many of the things in her house have come from all over the world. 

I don't know if she ever saw anything she didn't like furniture and clothes alike. 

Through their time in the Military they also came in contact with the missionaries. 

Although, they were justing making sure their sons knew the commitment they were making

as they decided to be baptized. They continued to support and drive them to activities and church meetings (3 times each Sunday - it was BEFORE the block schedule).  

I don't know when their love for boy scouts started, but if you needed help with ANY merit badge, they would be able to help you out and supply you with the badge. 

The southern hospitality could never be taken from this woman. Thousands of miles from home she was still the greatest example to those around her. As a wife of a Major in the Air Force, she could hold her own. She did what was right, even if it wasn't socially acceptable. She cared for everyone she knew. She is the most generous person. 

She and my grandpa love each other so much.

(I think this was a birthday celebration)

After a few years later she and my grandpa decided to be baptized as well. They never looked back. They began to travel around the United States after my grandpa retired to find records of ancestors, take pictures of cemeteries, and help others find their ancestors as well. 

My grandma ALWAYS wanted to tell you how much she loved you. Sometimes it wasn't in the way one would normally expect, but everything she did was out of love.  Her many stories and lectures. Her desire to pass on a good name, to live a life her descendants could be proud of, with a name to be proud of. 

My Grandma would drive for hours if it meant she could support one of her family members in a event of any kind, baseball game, swim competition, whatever your passion. She would come. 

My Grandma came and took care of me after I was born. She would still remind me of it, especially if I was being a pill. She knew how to have fun, the good kind. If fun was borderline the bad side, she would give you a good southern warning, and you wouldn't try twice with her. 

My grandma was a strong woman on the inside. For years before my grandpa died and lived in a care facility, she would visit him multiple times a week. You could not keep her away from him. You couldn't stop her from bringing fresh fruit and some chocolates with her when she came. 

She is tenacious, and a little fire-cracker. She might have kept getting shorter, maybe I just kept growing. She is the cutest lady. Whenever she would walk, she would grab on your arm (her grip was TIGHT), she would waddle with you and tell you how to keep your arm stiff and if it relaxed, she would tap it a few times and make some joke about your muscles, and how she needed a strong arm. She could make any situation light. 

It was such a blessing having my grandma in Utah the last couple of years. It was a blessing to see her when I got home from my mission.

Another day she had an accident and my dad asked me to go with him. I am thankful I did. She was teasing my dad. Even though she was in pain, she was a tough cookie. This woman inspires me. I told her she had to stick around to meet my kids, and she said I needed to hurry up. I love her. 

I remember as we were leaving my grandma I gave her a hug and a kiss and another hug. I told her I loved her. She told me she was proud of me. 

Less than 48 hours after that, My mom told me she was with my grandpa again. 

I know she is with her family. She is in peace. She is saying hi to all her family she tracked down. 

I know she is laughing. She loved to laugh and she had a great laugh. 

Heaven is lucky to have this amazing lady. Happy one month anniversary to my Grandma and Grandpa.

Challenge Accepted

This is a phrase I heard on my mission. This morning as I attended the temple, I say this phrase was accepted from the youth there.

After receiving my mission call I started doing other ordinances in the temple so today was the first time in almost 2 years I went to the baptistry. Arriving early on Monday morning wasn't a foreign idea to my school schedule, in fact, the semester before my mission I went regularly. The difference today however filled me with gratitude and happiness.

Upon arriving I needed to print out temple cards and one of the sweet temple ladies told me to go downstairs to the baptistry and she would bring them, and I needed to "get in line." I headed down the stairs and there was a good number of youth in front of me. There is a small chapel near the baptistry and it was filled, not only was it youth of the church but most of them had brought their own family names to the temple. I would say they accepted Elder Andersen's challenge to the youth of the church to prepare as many names for the temple as you perform baptisms in the temple and help someone else to do the same. I later found out, there was at least one ward that gathered the youth and brought them to the temple every Monday morning. In attendance with them was the bishop, young men and womens leaders and parents.

The temple was full and once I had my spot in line, there were about 30 people in front of me. That is 140 ordinances performed within 90 minutes of the temple opening. My heart was full with gratitude as I watched these youth enter the water and perform these ordinances. I can't even imagine how diligently the missionaries are working to help these people accept the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I was also grateful for the peace I find in the temple. It is a refuge for me. Right before the youth got started a member of the temple presidency, President Ashton, addressed those present and asked them, "what questions do you have about the temple?" He assured us we could think about it as we discussed baptism. After the devotional finished, the front row of youth stood up and went to work. They knew exactly what they were doing. It looked likes bees at a beehive. 

Nothing says first day of school like your dad wanting to drop you off. (He didn't want to smile.)

Other challenges being accepted is the one to get a higher education. Today was day 1 back at BYU. First class was family history and we discussed missionary work, most of the class members were returned missionaries. We also talked about temples. It was fabulous. 

Next stop was computer science and we discussed missionary work again. I think I am going to like these classes. There is a very large diversity of majors and goals in this class. 

Middle class was Ballet. Well, on the bright side I can still walk. Just kidding. There were pros and cons and lets just say, "yikes!" There is definitely lots of room for improvement. It felt so good, but not dancing for 21 months is evident. 

(studio on campus)

Next class: ASL. It was so much fun. Lots of stories, deaf humor, and laughs. It is a good class. I am excited for the assignments we have, like talking to deaf people one-on-one. Going to the deaf ward doesn't count. Good thing I know a couple people who would fulfill that requirement without it being for a class. #Communicatewithourhands

Last class was music and you might not guess which room we were in...

I didn't know they had an ALMA lab. Such a BYU thing (#BookofMormonStories). Inside the ALMA lab is super cool.

Keyboards connected to computers. It was pretty hi-tech.

This last picture is something I found in the bookstore, which I thought, "Where do they come up with this stuff?"

After not being in school for a bit, I forgot the family tradition of a fathers priesthood blessing before school starts so, we got that done too. I love the Priesthood. Nothing can compare to it. 

I can't help but think how incredible everything else, all the small things, all the big things. Life is wonderful. 

Three months changed my life

The past 18 months have had and indescribable and incalculable impact on my life. Today I want to focus on the last three months of my mission. When I was called to be an American Sign Language missionary, I was excited, and nervous. I didn't feel like I was able to fulfill that calling in the way I pictured "fulfilling my calling." During those three months I learned many lessons but I am grateful for the impact it has had on the last 6 and a half weeks of my life.

Today was a beautiful day, not uncommon. The sunrise was beautiful and I have many pictures to document my enthusiasm as the sun rose today.

That wasn't what impacted me the most. Yes, I knew that God had started another beautiful day here, but upon returning home from my mission, some feelings haven't been the same. Returning from a mission is different than I thought, but today I had an opportunity to participate in TRC (Training Resource Center at the Provo Missionary Training Center). This TRC wasn't in English, It was in ASL. Upon my arrival at the MTC, I was immediately joined into a conversation with 3 others, who were there with the same purpose as me. I followed them to my the area where we would have a devotional. As I conversed with one of them, I learned she has been in the same MTC district with a dear companion of my about 19 months ago. So we did what any excited person would do and we took a selfie and sent it to our mutual friend. This dear companion of mine, was one companion from 1/2 of this precious 3 months. She wouldn't be the support she is in my life, her influence/example and love for life, wouldn't be the same as it is today without those 6 weeks with her.

Then, there were SO many ASL volunteers they combined some of us into a room and we were taught by missionaries. I was combined with this dear sister. Instantly friends, we were edified together from 4 different companionships of missionaries. Some might think, "if there were extra volunteers, why not go home?" The truth of the matter is in a couple different things.

1. I really wanted to volunteer and help the missionaries. I miss being a missionary and I am grateful I was able to be serve the Lord. I know my time is finished, and I want to help those missionaries by giving them the best experience they could have and an opportunity to learn and grow before they enter the unknown of "the field."

2. There are two cute sisters who are going to the greatest mission on the planet and I was so excited to meet them before they depart on Tuesday. They have such a love and enthusiasm for the work of the Lord. I know both of their trainers, and wards where they will be serving. I am so excited for them to start this journey.

3. Along with these sisters who are entering the service of the Lord, I got to see a sister who I had the pleasure of serving along side with. I love seeing familiar faces.

4. As I mentioned earlier, Sister Jess Turley and I were instructed by 4 amazing and different companionships. Our purpose as members was to be edified, to listen to the missionaries and to let them teach us. The Spirit was in abundance as these missionaries spoke. Each message had the same theme, with a different approach, articulation and execution. These faithful missionaries are going to influence the lives on many people. I know as I sat and watched these missionaries express the thoughts of their hearts, I was lifted, edified and inspired. How do I know? at the end of this 2 hours session, I felt the happiness of missionary work.  The happiness of bringing souls to Christ. I felt myself come closer to the Savior through them. I know I would not have gone and participated in TRC had it not been for the three months I was able to serve as an ASL missionary.

(in the TRC room)

5. I didn't know it before it started but I was introduced to ASL resources I had not previously known about. such as Uplifting Messages ASL (Facebook), as well as YSA deaf activities - Which  I can also guarantee I would not be going to if I had not been called to serve ASL for 3 months.

After the MTC and spending time with these missionaries, I headed to another missionary activity with missionaries from my mission. It was a blast. I love how Heavenly Father is involved in the details of our lives.

(Me, Cheyenne Dials, Talin Shick, Rachel Cox, Callie Jensen, Laurel Williams)