daggers

confused? Maybe I should have titled this stabbed in the back. So I got stabbed in the back today by a lot (meaning more then one) of people I trusted, who I thought looked out for me. But I guess sense I graduated high school that changed. But I don't care if I offend them by saying they stabbed me in the back - even if they didn't know they did it. It was a new phrase I learned in my American heritage class at the devil school as they call it (BYU) know as self-interest. I don't want to get into a fight with my boss, because my self-interest as being on good terms with them is way more important then sticking up for an honest real person who has probably saved their butts more times then they can recall.  I got no heads up, I was shafted and drowned. It kills (emotionally) and it happened last night too at a stake youth committee meeting I must be on a new roll (twice in less then twenty four hours). My last year and a half of work down the drain, no respect, no care. But I have trust issues and now I'm more self-conscious. way to be a great leader of Christ, for stabbing me in the back. Half of you I didn't even expect to do it.

On the greatest side of all of this I get to give my Birthday buddy for the past 12 years the first present I've ever given her. (weird). but I'm really excited and I think she'll love it. only have to wait for this 1.5-2 hours and my day will be happy again. I never knew it could turn upside down so shortly (like in a matter of a second, and I yelled at one of my old teachers (who I didn't really like, which had nothing to do with me yelling at them), and I didn't apologize and I don't care.) Sometimes I want to go hide under a rock and not come out. I know I'm not perfect or the perfect disciple of Christ and I'm here to learn. So for right now I think I have a right to act this way.